i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
