I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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