We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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