"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
