I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
