i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
