Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
