he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
