I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
