Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
