He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
