Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
