So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
