all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize