new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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