U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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