hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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