I puked a lego.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
