And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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