you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
