it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
