I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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