Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm passing your future prison.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
