his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
