is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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