i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
