At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
