i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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