Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
