1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
