fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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