apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
