Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
