Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
