it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
