he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
