Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
