HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
