It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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