i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
