he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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