Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
