Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
