Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
