So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
