I wish I could punch you in the face.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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