you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
