Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she smelled like a LAN party
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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