when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize