I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
