No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
