Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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