well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
