VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
