If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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