yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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