we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
