But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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